To Text Or Not To Text?

Communication has been revolutionised in many ways, not least by texting. Texting is defined as “the exchange of brief written messages between mobile phones over cellular networks”. It provides a cheap, instantaneous ways of getting and keeping in touch with people. What’s the problem, I hear you cry? Lol. And that stands for lots and lots.

Firstly, written words can be interpreted differently by different people and all at different times. When words are written down all intonation and tone is lost and the reader is free to interpret the words without the sender being on hand to clarify their meaning. Text me the question “What’s wrong?” and, get me on a good day, and you may get a perfectly sane and reasonable answer. However, on a morning when I’ve got out of bed on the wrong side, I may interpret it with an accusatory tone and before you know if I’ll be running off in floods of tears in the opposite direction, complaining that no one understands me.

It’s not just words or phrases that can be interpreted in different way than they are intended. Letters can be too, in particular the letter ‘x’. When the end of a text is signed off with an ‘x’ by a member of the opposite sex, things can get complicated. You start to wonder, what does this mean? Does he mean the same thing that you would mean if you had sent it to him? What’s that? He sent you a double ‘x’! It must be love. All of a sudden you are fantasising about your wedding dress, you can hear the wedding march playing in your head and you can see your best friend catching the bouquet. When in actual fact there may be a logical explanation - his thumb may have caught the 9 key before he hit send because he had gloves on.

Then there’s the problem with grammar and spelling. Now I’m not a pureist as such but I text exactly as I write. Full sentences, words written out in long hand, not an apostrophe out of place; this is where the confusion arises. Other people have wantonly abandoned the rules of the English language for the sake of saving nano-seconds. For example, one of my friends and I were going to a birthday party and she told me that she would text me if she couldn’t get a chocolate cake from the shop she was going to so that I could go and buy one as a back up plan. I read the text from her in a hurry and read the word ‘no’ and hurriedly went to the shops to find the elusive cake. We both turn up at the party with identical huge, fattening chocolate cakes. Upon re-reading the text I realised I was in the wrong but my friend’s grammar certainly contributed to our bulging waistlines.

It’s not just spelling and grammar that can go wrong. The main flaw is how instant it is. There’s your mobile, in its lovely pink case, nestled snuggly in your bag, waiting patiently for you to pick it up and use it. In fact, you can use it at anytime, like when you’re on the bus, sat watching TV or are out drinking. Actually, forget that last one. Texting whilst inebriated is not advised. I repeat, not advised. The worst part of the morning after is not the blinding headache and the room still spinning, it’s looking into your sent box and seeing exactly what you sent to whom. Ever had that I can’t believe I drunk- texted him last night? I admit I have once or twice. Okay, it was 116 times at the last count.

Even if you haven’t been drinking, you can still send something to someone that you really didn’t mean them to see it. I mean, who invents something in this day and age that doesn’t have a recall button? My ex was alphabetically next to ‘Mum’ in my contacts – yes this one has danger written all over it. One slip of the thumb and before you know it, you’re fabricating an explanation to your dearest mother about how your brother brought your three-year-old niece round to visit and she must have got into your bag, dextrously removed the cover and managed to send a detailed and graphic description about what happens to naughty boys to her by mistake without anyone noticing at all.

Just when you think that your lie-by-toddler has worked, it falls flat on its face when your mother helpfully reminds you that your brother is currently holidaying in Turkey for a fortnight and he doesn’t have a daughter.

The moral of this particular story is not to date anyone whose name begins with ‘N’, ‘M’ or ‘O’.

So to answer the question: to text or not to text? Perhaps the best advice is to proceed with caution. Be careful who you text and what you text them because you never know what you might end up regretting.